I have never seen a full Brewers season where they make the playoffs. Born in July 1982, I missed that amazing World Series run. It’s been a long 25 years- the longest playoff drought in baseball. With a young team of quality stars and shrewd management, we’re boldly making our move. I get so excited thinking about the Brewers now, a little pee comes out. In fact,

When the Brewers
make the playoffs
I will pee my pants.

Thursday, August 7, 2008 - This thing is hunting us. ALL of us. You know that?

The Predator may be the most deadly beast in all of history. I don't really know how the Arnold was able to stop him. His cakemud to cool him down seems like it wouldn't last that long especially with all the flexing. Whatever. This quote serves as a warning to the rest of the league. The bumbling Brewers on the road are a thing of the past. We're going after everyone. We've already matched last season's road wins and we're going for more. 4 games over 5 hundred on the road? I'll take that satisfaction.

And I'm really enjoying how Suppan is talking, "We're getting to the point with this team that experience is taking over. The core of the team has played with each other. And there's a mix of other players. I think when you get a team with more experience you're able to understand situations, confront them and move on. You can see that maturity with our team." The Brewers are so mature- like me and also like peeing your pants.
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008 - If it bleeds, we can kill it

Edinson Volquez who? Oh, we were so worried about this all-star right-hander. Oh, we won't be able to take him down. Well last time I checked- he was a pitcher who throws balls that players have the opportunity to get hit. Meaning? Meaning he is basically the same as the Predator- and we hit that fool for all he was worth in a clobbering and redemptive win.

Very funny that the Prince fight was caused by a stray zipper. Cousin J was totally right that Parra kind of looks at the Prince like, "Oh jeez, I hit him with my zipper in the face and he's going to kill me for it. He's not even overreacting- that's an appropriate reaction for zipper hitting." And then the Prince was like, "Yeah! You better watch us bat and another thing [gets hit with the zipper] WTF? You little lady! Did you just hit me with your zipper? I'm going to shove you as hard as I can not once, but twice- and the 2nd time in your stupid face!" All I'm saying is don't ever hit me with a zipper in the face.
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

The tension of the crack commando team between Dutch (Arnold) and Dillon (Carl Weathers) is a great corrolary to the Prince-Parra matchup. Okay, not really. I don't know who would be CIA and who would be the commando. And I don't understand the tension that made the Prince explode. He absolutely looked crazy, huh? He's like a genuine crazy fire hydrant man with that shaved head and packed lip.

Everyone certainly got him surrounded and under control pretty quickly. This is when it would be the best to be in the dugout- to hear what actually was going on and then get some yells in at Prince, "what are you doing? Come on Prince- hit another dong!" I watched a replay with a Reds announcer- what a doofus, "they're falling apart in the dugout. it all started when they got swept by the mets in milwaukee [never corrected himself]. And now you're seeing it in the dugout and you'll probably see that leak into the clubhouse." I bet he wanted to go on, "that's it for the brewers. you might as well stick a fork in them, they're done- self-destructing like the hindenberg," but the other announcer told him to shut up by kicking him in his shins.
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Monday, August 4, 2008 - I Ain't Got Time To Bleed

That's right mothaflippa. As PREDATOR WEEK starts off with a bang, the Brewers are all business. So what if we laid an egg against Atlanta in the final frame of the three-game set. We're taking the travelling road show to Cincy and we're going to hunt down the Predator- future alien. I love how two actors from the Predator movie became governors in the United States. That is absurd. I don't know if there are any other movies that share that pedigree.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008 - We're killing them off one at a time.... like hunters

Oh yeah, the Crew is taking care of business in Hotlanta in a big way. I wish more dances and rap movements would come from Atlanta, or Milwaukee. I'm going to invent the Predator. In fact- this whole week is PREDATOR WEEK. Get ready for the business!
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Saturday, August 2, 2008 - Lit Up Turner

Last night was basically the scene in Predator where Dutch and the crew completely light up the jungle with guns blazing aimlessly trying to kill that friggen invisible freak alien predator. The Brewers didn't make up all four games in one night, but they definitely mowed down the Braves and sent a message. If you saw their faces last night, you could see that they were all business. Look for the mowing to continue throughout the weekend as the Crew stays hot on the road.
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Friday, August 1, 2008 - We're better than this

Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his puppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits! You get your a** out there, and you find that effing dog!
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Thursday, July 31, 2008 - Tragic so far

Clearly this series has not gone as planned. After the supremely exciting game 1, we've had our butts handed to us on a plate. No question about it we've played like garbage. All the small mistakes are unacceptable against a good team like the Cubs. Walks, errors, strikeouts on wild pitches turning into baserunners who score- NOOOOO!

Today's afternoon game is pretty important for my psyche and the Brewers. I want a win: 24 to negative 2.
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 - Not Going As Planned

This kid was spending a long day at the office and doing some extra monitoring of the Brewers-Cubs game on the side. Everything was going as planned, it was a tight and good game. He checked the scores again in the sixth and to his surprise and consternation, his Brewers were in a large hole. "Probably too minor to be working kid, but you're hitting the long hours anyway," I know how you're feeling. What happened to us last night? Braun made a valiant attempt, but you either have to catch it or block it, not let it slide to the wall.

We've still got Parra today and a national tv audience to erase the mistakes of the last two games. Time to kick in the Cubs teeth.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008 - Awww Man...

What an exciting game. We really had those motherflippas I thought. The defensive gems by Cameron's rocket to home and then the Prince's dive and shovel to a screaming Sabathia- a lot of meat on that play! And then there was Hardy's body contortions after CC's deflection- beautiful. Those defensive beauties inspired JJ and Braun to get back in the game with back to back sweetness dongs. Unreal!

And then our mistakes came back to haunt us- Rickie with that terrible throwing error. Admittedly, it was a tough slide, but he's got to stay in there a little longer or jump in the air- not take himself out. Torres also shot himself in the foot a bit with those 1-out walks. Ugh! 3 games to go. And the match-up of 2008 today.
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Monday, July 28, 2008 - The Showdown

The day has finally arrived and the series is here. The Cubs are making their first trip to Miller Park for 4 games. Did you know the division lead hangs in the balance? Did you know the Brewers are winning the season series so far and we've only played at Wrigley? And did you know the Brewers are pitching their 1-2-3 of Sabathia, Sheets, and Parra? Of course you knew all these things.

It's a regular showdown. I actually saw the short movie depicted in the pic. It stinks! It's a comparison of an old-time Western duel to a pitcher v hitter battle. The movie would have been my favorite of all-time if Sabathia were the pitcher. Would have received 4 stars from Duane Dudek, Oscar nominations for best picture and actor, etc.
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Sunday, July 27, 2008 - Mighty Mighty Brewers

I love Jen's comment from last night: "YEAH HAW!!! Just came back from the game. Man, after Braun's dong, the place was electric. Then AFTER the game, when everyone is filing out, people were chanting LET"S GO BREWERS!! Strangers were high fiving each other." Stranger high fives are the best. Especially in Pick'n Save. Brewers fans are jacked right now and they don't care who knows it. Today is so awesome too. It's like Cubs-Series Eve. Honestly, I don't think the 'stros stand a chance today. We are going to clown them like we did when Stan Ross pulled the hidden ball trick on 'em in Mr. 3000. We're finally getting some of that national attention too. Bob Ley opened last night's highlights by raving about the "Mighty Mighty Brewers". That's right Bob, the Brewers are turnin' up the heat. And if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, GET OUT IT WILL INCREASE! High five.
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Saturday, July 26, 2008 - It's alright, it's okay, there's something to live for

Well, we weren't going to go undefeated the rest of the way. The thing was, in that final inning, with Corey on-base, I thought we were going to do it. Apparently, all the players did too as they were all swinging for the fences and that magical tying dong. Parra pitched a beaut and got out of most of his jams, except for the costly bases loaded seventh.

How about that blood-curdling scream from Mike in American Movie? That was scary.
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Friday, July 25, 2008 - I'm a Broken Record

The Brewers are so good. I love the Brewers. This is the best I've ever seen the Brewers play. I could go on and on like this all day. What an exciting time. I honestly thought I was hallucinating when he hit that. It was unbelievable. La Russa's face was so priceless too. Complete shock and disgust. Frankly, I'd say this is beyond the '92 season. 7-0 road trip is a franchise record, 20 straight games with a homer is a franchise record, and winning 3 of a 4 game road sweep in St. Louis on last inning homers is definitely something I've never seen before. My brain just exploded.

I don't think we can praise Ryan Braun enough either. This was the 2nd game in the series where he was one short of the cycle. He just bypasses doubles- why wouldn't he go straight to third? His dong 2 nights ago for the 3rd insurance run was dope. And then he's the hero last night after asking Hall if he had one more in him. I love these guys too much.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - This Guy is a Horse!

CC Sabathia is too good to be true. I mean, he came to Milwaukee and immediately switched his website to show him in a Brewers uniform. Except for his first game jitters (where he was still very good), he has been a total beast- dominating 3 complete games, contributing at the plate with a dong and a double. He's talking about the team with the first person plural, "I didn’t really have any expectations. I knew we had a good team, I knew we scored runs and if I kept us in some games, I could win some games.”

My favorite part of the game was when the Prince celebrated the win with CC after the final out. They did a little hug, fist-pump thing and as CC walked away to get his daps from everyone else, the Prince wanted more and gave CC a huge slap in the butt. Great headline from The Onion, C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger. The Crew is so competitive right now. To walk into St Louis and break their will like this has been impressive to watch.
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Can't Keep Us Down

Thrilling comeback by our boys in blue shirts and gray pants last night. Just a gritty, never-say-die performance. St Louis has to be pretty peeved that they let it slip away, though it wasn't so much a slip as we pried and stole it from their fighting hands. Billy Hall is my personal hero. Maybe he'll hit 1 more dong in each of the next 2 games to the exact same spot.

And as everyone knows, now the big dogs are pitching. Obviously there are no guarantees, but I'll take my chances with CC Sheets in any 2-game series. Goodness, I'm really giddy. I would have taken 2 games in the whole series at St Louis, but to get the first two. We're in tip-top shape. Man, I hate clowns though.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Wild Ones played last night

As Yost says, the first one in a series is always sweet to have. What's even better are the first two, superior is the first 3, and the ultimate is a 4-game sweep. Yesterday was truly a dynamic win. Our bullpen held strong with some of the cardiac kids in there- Mota and Gagne. It came down to Torres letting it slip away, but fortunately our guys gave him another chance. I love how he's a closer that can go 2 innings when necessary.

Rickie Strongs is certainly heating up. Maybe he heard rumors of the Durham trade and doesn't want to lose his spot. That's great news. He just needs a mentor like Durham to raise his on-base percentage by 100 points.
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Monday, July 21, 2008 - The Smartest Kid in the World

I was standing in the concession line at AT&T Park on Sunday for some Giroy Garlic Fries and a refreshing brew when I started listening to a 5 year-old kid behind me asking his dad questions. "Can I get a Super-Rope? Are those seats above us? Aahhh, they're going to fall!" Then he asked his dad, "Are the Brewers the champions?" I turned to the kid, "Not yet, son. But they're playing like champions." What a cap to the weekend.

The Brewers are awesome. We ripped up a formerly 11-2 pitcher, now 11-3, with effective hitting. Braun was just ridiculous with a 3-run dong and another 2 rbi double that was feet away from duplicating his first feat. The whole series consisted of tight games (couldn't tell by the scores), but the Brewers played the whole time like they expected to win. Confidence is key. Check out the accompanying pic from Saturday- all the fine travelling Brewers fans in SF (what up Fennimore!) and everyone back home have something to cheer about.
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Sunday, July 20, 2008 - SPLASH!

The Prince's 100th landed in the water- and what a shot to mark his heating up at the perfect time in the season. After Sheets got shellacked for 4 runs, I was worried and hoping he would get angry at himself for letting Sabathia outgun him. The 2 runs on the wild pitch were extra exciting to get it to 4-3. After Counsell's first-pitch out, I didn't have too much faith in Rickie Strongs, who was 0 for 2 in his first at-bats. But you know what he did? He came through for us and I love him a lot. Very exciting game that the Brewers happily took down.

This Sabathia move was so good it's making me sick. “We figured CC was going to watch one of his pitches,” said Braun. “But he wanted to watch one of his at-bats to see what went wrong. He felt like he missed one.” Outstanding dedication from the big man. I hope that Sheets and he get into a serious friendly competition to see who's the top dog. CC can push Sheets like no one else.
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 - Give it up for CC

This is how I was after each of CC's 10 k's last night. He just destroyed them- up and down the lineup. And then his double? Whoee, did he rake that ball. A lot of Brewers fans out and about too- with a lot to cheer.

There's a saying that the coldest winter you'll ever spend is a summer in San Francisco. It's true. The weather was mostly miserable last night in the left field grand stands. Moved down to some good seats later in the game- and they were warmer. Everything's better when you pay more!
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Friday, July 18, 2008 - The Next Dream Team

Sabathia, Sheets, and Parra. Are you kidding me? That's our lineup for the Giants series this weekend and I'm hoping it proves dominant. Seriously- those motherflippers are good. What makes this especially exciting is that I'll be in San Francisco for the weekend and will enjoy all 3 games in person. San Francisco- open your Golden Gate!
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 - Time to relax Prince

Straight from the Prince, “Early in the season I pressed. And that’s the frustrating part. If I would have just been [chill], especially in April, if I would have just relaxed, I would have been right.” I could do some relaxing for him. Imagine if Prince turns it around. We'll be dynamite.
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - What Excitement!

What a game! It was almost like the final baseball scene in A League of Their Own when the ball trickles, TRICKLES, out of Geena Davis' hand. Corey had the throw to extend the game and was just a little off-target. I was thinking would a good play to be to let it drop and throw it on the hop so they could get the force out at home? But that's idiotic. The runner would still be tagging, but the extra time for the bounce would make it not even close. Oh Corey! I know it's not your fault, but I was so excited for the World Series to begin at Miller Park, but now it looks like the Crew is going to have to win some games on the road to make this magical dream season a reality.

Slightly annoying how once it got to extra innings all the commentators talked about was the exhausted pitchers. Clearly everyone was hoping that the bullpens would get used up and they'd have to dive in to positional players pitching. Corey Hart on the mound? You better believe it.

Overall, good showing by the Brewers. Sheets was dirty with 3 k's in 2 innings, though he did throw a hefty 42 pitches! Braun and the Hartster were ineffective at the plate but they looked good. I think the big loser of the evening would have to be the Marlins' Mr. Ugly- 6 errors all season, and he had 3 last night. Ouch!
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008 - Derby Danger

Great showing by Ryan last night. I think the biggest worry for any batter is embarrassing themselves and not hitting any. Not for Ryan, he hit 17, made it to the 2nd round. Put a big scare in people that he was going to advance with 4 dongs in a row. I like his stroke and am glad he didn't have to mess it up with a ton of swings. Sure, he was overshadowed by the beast Hamilton, but that's okay.

Big congrats to Sheets for starting the All-Star game- a real and deserved honor. Hopefully the Crew can do a little better than the Prince last year. I remember one of the first plays was an easy grounder and routine throw to first- which he dropped. Oof! It didn't end up costing a run, but you're better than that Prince. You're an All-Star!
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Monday, July 14, 2008 - This Guy Can Do It All

He pitches a complete game and hits a dong in a 1-run game when he needed him to stop the sweep? Sabathia is the man. My one question to Yost, is how come you pitch hit CC (Craig Counsell) for CC (Christopher Columbus) in the 9th? Is it possible Sabathia is a better batter? I'm just messing around with that comment, but it's great that he's a true threat at the plate. I never understood why more pitchers don't pride themselves on batting and contributing more to their own wins. Pedro Martinez treated it like an absolute joke and goes to bat like it's a giant joke. Yovani and Sabathia have some pride.

My prediction for the World Series? Sabathia goes AWOL the night before Game 7 at Miller Park (his start). Five minutes before, no during the National Anthem, Albert Brooks persuades Sabathia that we need him and the Miller Park roof slowly opens to reveal a chopper descending into center field. Out walks Sabathia to begin pitching. His first pitch burns a hole through the bat and knocks Kendall down. Sabathia proceeds to pitch a no-no and hit a dong- the Brewers only run.
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Sunday, July 13, 2008 - Remember the Alamo!!

Well, the series is gone and now we're fighting for pride and to end on a high note and all that other good cheer. It's Sabathia's turn as the stopper- the last man standing. I'm confident he's the real deal. The Cubs' lead is starting to expand a bit. I imagine it would after performances like Gagne had last night. Yost said, "I thought Gagné's stuff was really, really good. He just made some mistakes out over the plate." Yeah, two dongs to the enemy sounds really good. It's bad when struggling relievers go out in mop-up roles and get clobbered (a la Turnbow). Not good for anyone's psyche.
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Saturday, July 12, 2008 - Smarter than the average bear

I love it when managers talk themselves in circles and aren't making any sense. “Cameron’s error, he ran a mile then looked up and the ball was in the lights,” Yost said. “That’s not an error, but it is an error. It’s scored an error but it’s not an error.” Huh? I guess he's making a good point. But 3 errors are a terrible point and that's why we lost the game and the Wild Card. Ugh. We should really win the rest before the break to stay hot.
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Friday, July 11, 2008 - Spiderman's True Identity Revealed

I was trying to look for something good Rivera did today (not much with an error and not throwing a thief out). I think his main contribution to the team is looking like a goofy and kind of chubby Tobey Maguire. I hope that Rivera milks his doppelganger for all it's worth. Dressing up in the spidey suit and doing jazz numbers at Hi-Hat. Seriously though, everyone is contributing. He gave Kendall a day off and called the right pitches for Bushie to pitch a gem with lucky 13 K's. Lucky 13 mothaflippa! And with the win (and a couple of losses), we are in sole possession of the wild card and a spot in the playoffs. Giddy up! I love us so much.

Congratulations to Corey and the key to my Hart and all Milwaukee fans for his first All-Star selection. No offense, but the All-Star selections seem like a huge joke with fans' clicking deciding who goes. Very impressive that Milwaukee beat out the biggest market of all in NY's Wright. I've always felt an inordinate amount of pride in the fact that Milwaukee is full of the best sports fans and that are tv rankings for sporting events are routinely higher than the national average. Kudos to the Brewers for being unable to contain their excitement, "A couple minutes into his news conference, about a dozen of his teammates rushed into the room and sprayed Hart and his children with beer, loudly cheering the news." Really? Spraying beer on the kids? I love it.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008 - Mota Crash!

That son of a b- he did it again. Mota made it look easy getting the first 2 outs, and I thought we had a chance- down 1 run with Miller Park rocking. And then he threw it away! We were totally in the game and Mota just blew it up. This wasn't as bad as the Arizona debacle last week, but it was pretty stinking bad. Cameron certainly did not help with a HUGE mistake that was charitably not called an error- allowing a run to score and turning a single into a triple (though I guess the point was moot when the next batter hit a dong).

I think Cameron's error is one of the more embarrassing plays in sports- charging in for a ball and then having it scuttle past you all the way to the wall. I think he could've run faster, no? Glendale Little League baseball tryouts 1991: grounders in the gym- 1 kid at a time. When it's my turn in the spotlight, the ball naturally skids through my legs. I turn and chase with all eyes watching and probably throw a 3-hopper that the catcher had to run 10 feet for. Humiliation is mine!
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - This is the way we roll, we roll

Great ovations for Sabathia last night- I think he's going to love Mil-town. We're so NASTY right now- it's like we're the bad guys in Space Jam- Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Muggsy Bogues, and (I guess) Shawn Bradley. That movie was pretty awesome- getting pumped up for a cartoon basketball with the soundtrack of Jock Jams playing in the background.

I love how confident all the Crew is. All the players and coaches are saying, "I liked our team before and thought we were good, but now? Now I think we're really good!" I'm so impressed with Doug Melvin. When someone told him about the Cubs move for Harden he was able to guess 3 of the 4 players included in the deal. These guys know everything. Also cool, that the door is still open for more moves. The only problem with adding new players is we have to make room for them. And with our lineup, that's tough to do. Very exciting times for the Crew.
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