The Brewers finally made the playoffs after 25 years, the longest playoff drought in baseball. Born in July 1982, I missed that amazing World Series run, but now I finally have a team to call my own. With a returning cast of young studs, shrewd management, and a new skip we’re looking to return to the playoffs. I get so excited thinking about the Brewers, a little pee comes out. In fact,

When the Brewers
make the playoffs
I will pee my pants.

Friday, July 3, 2009 - It's Friday

i'm actually at a wedding right now waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle. I can get away with it though because my girlfriend is the maid of honor. Ha! I'm totally pulling a fast one on her. Do baseball players never go to any of their friends weddings because they're always working during the summer? It's a tough life for them. A lot of sacrifices. Uh oh canon in d is starting I've got to go.
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Thursday, July 2, 2009 - What up Milwaukee!!!

What a shame for señor Gallardo. He pitches a monster game, puts his heart on the line, says hi to all the kids, signs every autograph, does everything except provide his own run support. I love that young gentleman. If he pitches half that well we've always got a chance to win.

To be honest, I'm a little disappointed we couldn't entirely crush the Mets' spirit. I wanted the sweep bad, real bad. But a series win is a series win. Am I right? Right? Of course I'm right.

Keep running Yo!
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009 - Brink of Despair

Man, the Mets are just crumbling before our errors. I think you can actually see their shoulders slump an extra inch after each awful error; their spines turning into jelly; and the fight leaving their body. And I love that it's the Brewers doing this to them.

"Comedy of errors" "Season teeters after another fall" and some great alliteration from the always on-point New York Post, "SANTANA STRUGGLES AS MISERABLE METS LOOK LAUGHABLE IN LATEST LOSS"

Meanwhile, we're doing awesome. That Braun bases-clearing double was tremendous! And he just kept running! Like Forrest Gump.
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009 - Casey at the Bat

That guy is ridiculous! We're not even going to mention that dropped ball because it apparently makes him SUPER angry. Kind of a weird article in JS saying how upset he was about it- and the scream even after the grand slam. Dude is leading all rookies in batting, has had an extra base hit in the last 5 games, and is batting 378. Heyyyy... take it easy on yourself Casey.

Regardless it was really good to crush the Mets like that. 19 hits is impressive. And so is being in first place. Again.

Another great article in JS today- about the Pirates being jealous of the Brewers and how we can spend $28 more million on payroll. Because we have 3 million fans as opposed to 1.6 for them. Really kudos to Mark Attanasio. It is so awesome what he's built and the commitment he's brought to this team. If you're going to buy a toy (which is what franchises are for the richies), why wouldn't you want it to be a fun and awesome toy. I know a lot of the young guys were already in our system, but obviously Mark hasn't been shy about keeping them and splurging when he needs to.
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Monday, June 29, 2009 - Putt for it all

I don't even care about yesterday's result. Saturday was so frickin' awesome. I was playing golf with some friends Sunday at a nice little Par 3. We had a little wait for our tee time, so we went to the putting green and started playing skins- from hole to hole (we ended up playing 63 holes on the putting green).

Anyways, there was some banter going on. And one friend (who is not a Brewers fan) dared challenge a putt of mine that the Brewers season was riding on it. Obviously I nailed it, so I'm pretty sure the Brewers will win the World Series.

All these celebrities dying is really freaking me out. My brother has a theory that this is Armageddon and everybody is going to die, but first they're going to take our heroes to punish us. David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and now Billy Mays.
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Sunday, June 28, 2009 - No Lead is Safe for the enemey

And apparently no celebrities are either. Billy Mays is dead now too? This is getting out of hand.

But yesterday's victory was also out of hand. Truly what a game. Best of the season? It was so awesome and we battle so hard- and Prince brought us back in the 6th and then his obvious heroics in the ninth. The Cameron catch??? That was absurd. Everything about that game was awesome. The whole 9th inning rally was perfection. Battling hard- smart at-bats. Grounders into centerfield is the way to produce 2 runs.

I especially loved the Prince's celebration. After the players mobbed Corey Hart at home- they run to the Prince a little past the pitcher's mound. And he's just standing there with his arms outstretched like a teddy bear/Bill Murray tied to the sailing boat prow in What About Bob? and yelling, "I'm Sailing." It was so awesome. I loved how pumped everyone was for it.
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Saturday, June 27, 2009 - Yovanni Strikes Again

Yovanni is so dirty it's disgusting. Someone should hire Alma House Cleaners- her husband Javier and their 10 month-old to assist them with the cleanup job. They are going to need a lot of cleaning supplies (I can provide those) to clean him up. I really love that guy. I want to do a reality show about him titled, "I am so dirty." and it'll be all about the Milwaukee babes that are trying to get with him and I'll just be his doorman, "Hey Baby. Leave yoyo alone for a little bit. Why don't you chill with me for a little longer. Yeah, I produce his reality show- no big deal. Yeah, we're getting picked up on HBO, it's called 'I am so dirty.' You want to be in the title sequence? Maybe I could pull that off- let's see you dance."

WHOOOAAAA!?!?? What happened there? That took a real dirty and creepy turn too quickly. I grossed myself out.
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Friday, June 26, 2009 - Remember this?

This was so awesome I can hardly believe it. Really great comment by Connie yesterday pointing to the article about the Brewers being known around the MLB as having a fun clubhouse. That makes me love the Brewers even more and I do think it gives us a competitive advantage. Guys are having more fun. Baseball season is such a slog that other teams are jealous and are more interested in coming to our place. That said, maybe they're having too much fun rather than dominating games all the time.

Bringing up Connie again. You know how there are some names that can go either way- Pat, Terry, Sam, Jamie, and Ronald. There aren't too many females around this site- so I've been curious as to whether Connie is a man or a WOman. My old neighbor was Connie Pagedas- a woman. But there's also this super famous old-timey guy: Connie Mack. Head to the polls for your vote.

The way we're playing now though, it looks like we might be in jeopardy of repeating that party. What's up with us? We, and the whole NL Central, stink!
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Thursday, June 25, 2009 - Why So Serious???

This is a special and especially awesome verbatim report from Cousin Jon:

This picture is awesome. Kendall never smiles. I feel like, in this picture JJ is saying "are you serious? Did you just see what happened? It was ridiculous! And you're still not going to smile, are you? Unbelievable... I'm smiling."

I went last night again and it was a billion times more fun that Tuesday. Also, we were ripping on Gardenhire for sending Blackburn up to bat in the 8th. Turns out we were right. He's a fool for not knowing how to coach in national league play.

Thank you Cousin Jon. Also, poll's fixed.
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - HOOOOOOOO

What a guy! This is in honor of the king of the sidekicks- Ed McMahon. I love this picture because he's so classy and reserved and deferring to Mr. Carson. He's the man in this- like Scottie Pippen to Michael Jordan back in the day or Charles Oakley to Michael Jordan for the last decade. Did you know how awesome Ed McMahon was? He was a Marine Corps pilot in both WWII and the Korean wars, co-hosted the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for 30 years, hosted Star Search for 12 and was a Budweiser spokesmen for over two decades.

Ed McMahon is pretty much the opposite of the Brewers right now, who stink. They need to get inspired by Ed.






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Tuesday, June 23, 2009 - This Picture Makes Me Happy

I think we can all admit that this is one of the coolest/most emotional home run trots of all-time. I like how it comes from JSOnline's dong tracker of all Miller Park dongs and this is the most exceptional dong of all time at Miller Park. You can feel the party time surging through his veins.

Why aren't we in first place anymore? This is getting a bit ridiculous. Time to execute.

More bad news- my brother had HIS bike stolen. He had his wheels stolen a month ago. 9 days ago he bought a $99 bike from Kmart for those wheels and you know what. It got stolen. :( Where do all these bikes go? There should be a special ring in hell for bike thieves. Except for bike thefts on small colleges- where it is okay to once in a while "borrow" a ride after a late night on the town.
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Monday, June 22, 2009 - Miller's Park is Noah's Ark

Those fiery storms really unleashed a whupping on Miller Park. Good thing Wisconsin has practice with Noah's Ark- America's Largest Waterpark nearby. I'm always surprised that Noah's Ark was built in Wisconsin where it can be used 30% of the year. Seems like a not-optimal location.

I nearly drowned in the wave pool as a young Brewers fan, but somehow survived. The other thing I remember is how your feet would get so numb after walking/running around barefoot all day.

You want more waterpark memories? What about how disgusting finding a band-aid in the pool was. One time my brother placed one on my shoulder after I got out of a pool and I'm nearly vomiting writing this now. Or- the waterpark Surf'n'Turf that was built close to Milwaukee. My brothers and I went for a fun-filled afternoon and we had to leave early when my younger brother pooed his pants. I still resent him for that.
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Sunday, June 21, 2009 - Luke, you are my father

You know, you try to be positive, you try to get angry, and sometimes things just get a little mixed up. If you're not careful, you end up on the dark side getting your mords wixed calling your enemy son your father cause your lonely on father's day. But let's be real... worst case scenario we have a .500 road trip, best case 4 of 6. We'll take that. Happy Father's Day. When I see my dad today, the first thing I'm going to do is play "America" by Neil Diamond and thank him for not being Vader. We'll see you at the Twins series.
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Saturday, June 20, 2009 - Angry Like a Fox

If you didn't figure out yesterday, this is Cousin Jon. Brewers Mike is off this weekend. One of the things you'd probably notice about me writing is that I like to say things like the "Tigers are about to get hit with the 10 run storm" and blah blah blah. It's true. I'm a little supersticious about the Brewers. When cool things are happening I tend to think it will translate to a winning Brewers performance. It's a dangerous move because it makes me very angry when they lose. Last night was a perfect stormy night to continue the offense, but it turned out the Tigers had the big bats. Not us. And like "Stay Strongs" commented yesterday... we never play well on Fox Saturday baseball. Fox appearances have been cases where I've been real excited for the crew to have the opportunity to show a bigger audience how they can play, but they always seem to end up playing HORRIBLE. and that makes me ANGRY. I'm not scared of Foxes or Tigers, but I am angry about the possibility that I might be angry again this afternoon. Don't make me angry, Brewers. DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY
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Friday, June 19, 2009 - Shock of the Lightning

Wicked bad thunderstorm in Milwaukee last night. Flash flooding, tons of thunder and lightening, and a little bit of hail according to local unofficial weather reporters. I had my window open and the thunder sounded amazing. Like it was ripping across Lake Michigan, racing to echo off the US Bank building. Akip, akipidy-kipidy-kipidy-kipidy-kaBOOOMMM goes the dynamite. Hopefully it was an indication of the 10 runs per game offensive storm that is about to hit Detroit City this weekend. Clash of the bizarro Central Division Leaders.
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Thursday, June 18, 2009 - Get the Broom Ueck!

What a way to sweep the series. A little unnecessary drama, but all's well that ends well. That adversity for the team can be good sometimes- really drive guys together. Hardy said, "It would have been a long bus ride to Detroit if we had lost that game. This will be a lot better." What? Do they really drive from Cleveland to Detroit? I would want to fly fo sho. Though their bus must be nice.

I was listening to the Ueck on the radio and he had a real doozy of a story that took three innings to tell. Uecker was chilling with Luis Vizcaino and Geoff Jenkins (when they were on the team several years ago) and somebody asked Luis if he knew Geoff's name by pointing at Geoff. Luis' reply was "Cinco" and then Geoff got upset that Luis genuinely didn't know his name. Good stuff.

Some other good stats from last night's game. We scored 30 runs in 3 games. Not only did Stetter record his first major-league save, he set a franchise record by recording 11 consecutive outs over five outings via strikeout. I'm a little worried about Trevor. What's going on? Is the juice running out for him? See the poll question.

Was the headline, "Say it ain't So-sa" used in every newspaper? Did nobody use it? I should get a Pulitzer for that if I'm the first.
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - The gift that keeps on giving

Last night was incredible too. Let's get everyone producing. Please check out the poll and answer- I'm going to be doing some market research for another next-level web idea.

Two more awesome stories about the ruckus that was Monday night's 14-12 victory.

The first from Cousin Jon: I had a really great time watching the game last night. It was one of those weird summer baseball nights for sure. I had the windows open with a nice breeze coming through... As perez was in his set position, about to hurl, I heard the bar across the street erupt into cheers. I thought it was maybe just a crazy bar noise for whatever crazy bar action was happening, but then as he released the pitch I realized I was on a slight delay and that I was about to witness Princes first grand slam.
It was one of the coolest things ever. all within 15 seconds

Pitcher set position
Crowd noise
"why are they cheering?"
release
realization
grand slam

prince and braun's punch out celebration was also off the charts

And then a text message I received: "Haha pat and I tricked you it's not our birthday. oh wait, the brewers won 14-12 cause it's our birthday"
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

So many amazing "Whoa" pictures could be used for this game and win! The Keanu Reeves Matrix Whoa is actually a total undersell of the game. I want more of a Patrick Swayze in Point Break acting crazy Whoa. Or Wayne and Garth Whoa- WHOAAA!!!! The Prince and Ryan Braun accounted for 11 McRib sandwiches!!! What????

Some more congrats are in order: to Markmotown for writing a comment longer than the entry! and to my little brother for coming up with today's poll- he just thought it was an awesome quote a la Boom Goes the Dynamite, until I explained the poll answers don't make much sense.

With Braun scoring 4 runs himself, he and the Prince were responsible for all runs. That Grand Salami was devastating. The first of the big man's career couldn't have come at a more righteous time. The Crew was so far out, but kept battling. Down 12-7, down 8-3, down 300-nothing- but our boys didn't quit.
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Monday, June 15, 2009 - Spinning our wheels

What is going on? Trevor Hoffman blew a game? Unreal. I think we're all right though. Even after this crazy slide- we are still in first place. Let me say that again, we are still on sole possession of first place. Obviously if we keep playing this way we won't go anywhere, but down. BUT, the other teams have been playing so bad- they have to be kicking themselves for not making up more ground or surpassing us.

We were hitting the ball well yesterday- especially Corey and Ryan. So we'll see if we can stop spinning our wheels in the dirt- and actually start gaining some traction.

Speaking of traction- a friend brought their dog over this weekend- for some reason they really wanted their dog to meet my cat. For the longest time, they were just chilling- not really noticing each other. The cat started to sneak up on the dog- just to check him out more. As soon as the dog noticed the cat- the chase was on. Running around corners- intent to kill- and like a cartoon- spinning their paws and nails every time they tried to cut a corner. It was hilarious. But now my cat is dead- it got eaten. Just kidding. She's alive after I dropkicked the dog out the window like Jack Black did in Anchorman. You got served!
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Sunday, June 14, 2009 - Poor Parra

Poor Parra pitches his way into the minors. Ouch. That's pretty rough. What's the matter with this guy? Why can't he dominate? He was pretty good last year. He has the stuff. He has imploded. I hope his confidence isn't completely shot and that it's a short stint in the minors.
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Saturday, June 13, 2009 - We are the Champions

It's awesome that I got to use Queen twice in the last 3 days and it's sort of applicable. First of all, of course we're not actually champions, but that was a big win. A huge relief. Awesome hitting. Early on, when we were down 2-0 I was upset at Soup and everyone in the world. I was in a bad place. But then we dominated and the players were as pumped as lifting up the trophy.

Could there be any better feeling than lifting up the Stanley Cup? Man, that must be the ultimate. I love how each player gets the trophy for a day- and the crazy things they do partying with it. I bet some really nasty things have gone on inside that bowl. So congrats to Pittsburgh and the Kid (not Robin Yount) for bringing one home to our brethren city.
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Friday, June 12, 2009 - Turn Around

Hey Brewers, I have a quick announcement for you guys. You're supposed to WIN games. Naw, I'm just messing around. They know what's going on. I'm not too worried about them. They're trying/playing hard and just coming up a little bit short. No time to panic. Time to win.
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Thursday, June 11, 2009 - Another One Bites the Dust

Man, Queen is so awesome. Better than the Brewers at this point. They're so prophetic with their song about the Brewers blowing leads so far in the future. I remember jamming to this album so hard back in my old house on Midland Drive in Greendale. I would go into my dad's office where the stereo system was (this is in the mid-80's when CD players were still kind of a big deal), plug in his super awesome headphones, lay on the shag carpet and go on a little journey with Freddie Mercury and company. Flash and Bicycles were two of my favorite songs. Did Wayne's World ruin Bohemian Rhapsody? I think it did for the first couple of years, but the song and that scene have stood the test of time.

What's up with the Brewers right now? This is getting worrisome. Who knew that the Rockies would be such a flipping buzzsaw and just rip us apart. Not the way you want to start a homestand, right? Oof. My favorite thing to say is time to get back on track, and it's that time. Time to get back on track.
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009 - Another Blown Lead

The Brewers, fresh off a 3-4 trip on which they held the lead at some point in all seven games, had a lead for much of their series-opening game against the Colorado Rockies on Tuesday night at Miller Park. But as they did four times during that trip, the Brewers lost the lead and the game, 3-2. What a terrible statistic! To lead in all the games and then blow it so soundly. I'm severely disappointed in these guys. Yes, we're still in first place, but this bullhonky. We've got to step it up and finish games. Be the Closer like Kyra Sedgwick, who is not as good looking as her mother Edie. Don't believe me? Look it up.

Secondarily, if you have some time, YouTube slow-motion water balloons. It is truly incredible. As most of you know, most things are extra awesome in slow-motion- cheetahs running, guns shooting, glass breaking, birds flying, someone getting slapped...
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009 - We're all entrepreneurs

What a difficult word to spell? I had to spell it out in slow-motion just to make sure I didn't make too many mistakes. Are you guys digging Prophetic yet? I bet all the Brewers love this guy because they're living the same life, "Mo Profit, Mo Progress." Bam!

A fun series in Colorado this week. Hopefully we can take advantage of the mountain air and bash like 3000 dongs- setting an intergalactic all-time record.

And Greg P zinged me real good yesterday in the comments. That's good Greg, because that's what I imagined life would be like after this blog took off. Everyday would be a Coors Light commercial. Sadly, Cousin Jon and I will need to start a new venture to hit those heights. I'm sure the people seeing you wear the shirt were like, "Ewwwww" or, even more probable, the shirt never even registered on their radar.

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Monday, June 8, 2009 - Big Ups to Big Ben!

I went out to a Thai restaurant Friday night with some friends, of course wearing my one of a kind PYP hoodie with the 07 design placed on top. As we're waiting for our table in the entry area, another group is leaving and one of the patrons is looking at me a little funny. He walks past me to leave then takes a step back and asks if my sweatshirt is for the blog Pee Your Pants. I tell him, "Not only is this for the site- I INVENTED the site."

Ben and I are both getting pretty excited at this point. He pulls his friends over, "Have you heard of this website? Pee Your Pants For The Brewers. It's great." My friends think I planted this guy at the restaurant to impress them, but it is legitimate. Ben checks the site 3-4 times a week and has it in his Google Reader account- that's big for me.

All in all, really fun exchange. The second time I've been recognized while wearing PYP gear. As promised Ben, this is your shoutout. Keep kicking ace.

Do any of you have any fellow PYP pledgee recognition stories while proudly wearing your gear in public? Please share- it warms the soul.
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Sunday, June 7, 2009 - Hotlanta!

I love Hotlanta!
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Saturday, June 6, 2009 - Go-Yardo is such a stud

Apparently it's animal week at PYPFTB, but our guys are performing like superhumans with awesome animal spirits inside of them. Hasbro should make a new Transformers line this summer (or maybe next summer for the next blockbuster)- with Brewers players that are robots that turn into ANIMALS. Yovani would be the stud horse with the huge ____. Yeah, that's right. That's what he's like out there on the mound.

We needed a big pitching effort to get out of the slump- and Yovani is the first pitcher in the last seven games to go past six innings. Kapiyah. The man was untouchable. I really like him a lot.

And Mat Gamel? Also awesome. Not bad when the pressure's on to hit 3 ribbies. Bil Hall was like, "Awwwww man!" The funny thing about pro athletes (except Gagne) is that they never think they're in a slump- they always think they'll get a hit next tie. Bill Hall just wants to get back in the game fool!
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Friday, June 5, 2009 - The Prince is a beast

Keep running Prince! I love when he gets triples. Funny how the Marlins commentator was so disgusted with the whole play. "With your pitcher playing like this in a close game, you cannot let him down like that. Prince had a double for sure, but should have been out EASILY at third if they don't botch the relay."

What I don't get is why that counts as a triple and not an error. Obviously it wouldn't have been a triple if the guy plays it safe, just an outfield single. I know you don't penalize players with errors for not making spectacular plays, but that was an error and cost the Marlins a run.

The Prince was our total offense yesterday and it was not enough. Here's hoping our pitching gets back on track against Hotlanta. I want to see some pitchers going deep into the 7th and 8th innings.
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Thursday, June 4, 2009 - The Nasty Man

Trevor Hoffman is so nasty- it's ridonculous. My brother just said a jerky comment that he feels Trevor could collapse though. That closers get on hot/lucky streaks and can lose it like Turnbow or stop doing steroids like Gagne. Whatever, he's the real deal.

Bad pitching stats so far in this series with no pitcher going past six innings. "By covering only 23 innings in those five outings, the starters left an overworked bullpen to fill the other 20," from Journal Sentinel. Not good at all. What a crazy 5th: In a fifth inning that took 51 minutes to complete and included 94 pitches, the teams sent 21 batters to the plate, combining for 10 runs on eight hits, five walks and three errors.

How about 2 Live Crew? Was this album cover super controversial when it came out? I just think it's awesome. I love those ladies.
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