The Brewers finally made the playoffs after 25 years, the longest playoff drought in baseball. Born in July 1982, I missed that amazing World Series run, but now I finally have a team to call my own. With a returning cast of young studs, shrewd management, and a new skip we’re looking to return to the playoffs. I get so excited thinking about the Brewers, a little pee comes out. In fact,
When the Brewers
make the playoffs
I will pee my pants.
Monday, October 5, 2009 - PYP Will Rise Like A Phoenix
Well ladies and gentlemen, this is it. Your 2009 Milwaukee Brewers season has come and gone and so has this year's PYPFTB quest. Sadly, the season ended sooner than we all hoped and the quest with dry pants. Clearly the year was disappointing compared to last year, out of the race and out of contention with months to go.
But there were some great moments. The Brewers went down fighting- sweeping the playoff Cardinals- in dramatic fashion with the Prince leading the charge. I saw ESPN's pictures of the 2009 MLB season and the Brewers got a lot of daps in it: the Prince/Braun dong punching celebration; the Prince winning the Dong Derby; the Prince getting hit in the knee and attacking the other locker room; our triple play; the Prince getting robbed of a dong and Bernie having to climb back up the slide and the Prince tipping his cap; the Prince's atom bomb dong celebration! Notice a trend? It's a lot of the Prince. And that's one thing to be super-pumped about. We have this legitimate MVP candidate as our main man. With Ryan Braun supporting? I love it.
But seriously- thanks to everyone for a great year. I can't believe that there are this many people that check a site about pants-peeing and Brewers-loving. It's been fun with all you guys- Markmotown, Connie, Greg P, Stanley, Seattle Pilot, Cousin Jon, Stay Strongs, and the rest. Respect.
Sunday, October 4, 2009 - Showing Some Heart
There we go guys. Taking it to them. I know they're getting ready for the playoffs and resting some guys, but still good to show them that they're stinky and lay em down to sleep nice and easy. I'm sick of the Cardinals. I'm sick of Pujols, who obviously does steroids. Sick of La Russa. To be honest, I don't even like the city of St. Louis. There I said it. Milwaukee is way cooler in almost all ways. Which ways it it not cooler? Not sure. Maybe because they have the arch- that's pretty good, but mostly useless. Milwaukee wins. Again.
Saturday, October 3, 2009 - What happened?
I don't even know. I am camping in the middle of nowhere, but I somehow have Internet access. Did you ever know that I could update remotely? Honestly, the PYP executive committee is always forward looking in technology. You gotta represent. All the time.
Seriously, did we win? Are we going to the playoffs, wetting our pants? Jk. :(
Friday, October 2, 2009 - Yee Haw!
This is it. The home stretch. Let's go out with a bang. No whimpers here. I want fisticuffs and explosions and field-charging. All the old-timey goodness that is a sinking ship lashing out- like monster in Cloverfield. Let's go nuts. Nothing to lose. More cliches.
Thursday, October 1, 2009 - Don't Go Prince!
Okay. I know I'm getting to this late in the day and I apologize. But the Brewers are already down 5-0. There goes a 500 season. We are losers. From the playoffs to losing season :(
I know it's a fine line in baseball and it's always tough. But come on guys. What happened? I think we're still the coolest team in the majors besides the team I created for Baseball All-Stars for Nintendo when I was 8 years old back in 1990. My guys would always make amazing plays- catching balls at the wall and sliding from halfway to the base. I think the most fun in any baseball game if you multiple runners on the bag is to get them all stealing and try to get the defensive player (if it's a real person) try and tag them out by throwing the ball around. Invariably- they'll make the mistake and throw to a base where there's no basemen. Maybe they've rectified that in the newfangled games, but in the old ones it was a surefire score.
The picture refers to us losing the Prince. If that happens it will be like if someone shoots Santa. Or if Favre played for the Vikings... oh wait.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - So Much for Spoiling
Ewwwwwwwwww. That sandwich is gross and so are the Brewers. I was checking out the standings yesterday and everything is pretty much ironed out. The only real question is Detroit and Minnesota fighting for the AL Central. Atlanta won't catch Philly. There's a chance they could catch Colorado, except for the fact that the Brewers are playing Colorado. A sweep of the Rockies right now would've been pretty sweet for throwing some wrenches in spokes and tires.
By the way, I bike a fair amount and that's a big fear- a rod going through my spokes and catapulting (really? not catapAUlting?) me to who knows where.
Anyways- where not making it easier for any other teams. So it goes. The quest is now for 500. 5 games left. Gotta win 80%. Game on!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - Sausage Down!
Oh no! We've got a sausage down and there's a collision. Check out this sausage-churning video to see the last trailing indicator of where this season has gone. The chorizo got a little too excited (it happens) and toppled over. Polish Sausage (#2 on the jersey, but #1 in my heart) got tripped up and the Italian was barely able to avoid the dirt. Of course the wily Bratwurst kept running and secured an easy victory- that's smart baserunning.
And what's up with this talk of Rickie playing center field now. Does that make sense? I know baseball isn't that hard, but it's got to be tough on the players. Asking them to move around and learn new positions and then everyone gets mad when they aren't able to produce on offense. Touchy situation. I wouldn't want another Bill Hall scenario.
Monday, September 28, 2009 - Hail to the Prince
In this disappointing season, there have been some bright spots. And the brightest of all is the performance of the Prince Fielder. This guy is ridiculous. A bona fide MVP candidate. Just take a look at these numbers:
Legitimate. Hats off to the vegetarian.
Sunday, September 27, 2009 - Cranberries
My brother went to a cranberry festival and saw Gilbert Brown and William Henderson there. Then my other brother said there are few thing better than being a former Packer in Wisconsin. Let me modify that by saying a former Packer that won a Super Bowl. Will the Brewers ever be like that? Celebrities forever? No, obviously not. I wish I were a former Packer. I wish I were Desmond Howard.
Saturday, September 26, 2009 - Slow and Low- 500 is the tempo
Here we go. Going for 500. That is the goal. Nice and easy. 8 games to prove it. And what's up with us just working the Phillies. Is this series revenge for last season's playoffs? It might be. Let's keep pounding them in Mil-town.
Friday, September 25, 2009 - At least we're not the Cubs
Devastating celebratory headslap kills Cub. That's the headline that would've been fun to see, but the actual one is good too, "Cubs' Lee injured by Guzman's celebratory slap." What was Guzman thinking? Did he secretly want to hurt him? Was he going for blood?
In all honesty, I'm surprised this sort of stuff doesn't happen more- especially in baseball and football. Some of the celebrations are crazy! Of course the Prince's Atom Bomb dong was the best of all time and very safe, but other mosh pits can get a little frightening for the kids.
Totally off-topic- I saw this awesome clip of a soccer game penalty kick. Everyone was waiting and then a hooligan runs on the field with a friend and shoots the ball- AND SCORES!!! What an amazing on-the-field adventure. One of my life goals is to do a run on the field and to run in the sausage race. If anyone can make the run in the sausage race happen- please let me know.
Thursday, September 24, 2009 - Never Nervous Narveson
First I need to respond to some recent comments. Wait a minute. Back up the truck. Beep Beep Beep. You guys don't have time for Twitter, but you do have time for a site about peeing your pants for a baseball team? First of all, that's awesome. Second of all, there is no second. I love your guys dedication and contributions.
How about Narveson with the shaving cream sandwich? Pretty good delivery for the young guy. I like it a lot. A real whole lot. The Cubs can stick this in their pie hole.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 - Comedy of Errors
That was a rather ignominious way to end our Wild Card chances. I mean, we knew it was over, and we weren't going to be the Wild Card again, but we could at least go out fighting. I suppose we sort of were fighting as were falling all over each other. Two errors in one play. I know I've told this story before on this site, but it bears repeating:
I had two errors in one play. I was subbing at 2nd base. Runner on first. Ball hit sharply to me. I had an easy play and 3 options. Flip the ball to 2nd and let him turn 2. I was close enough to 2nd base that I could have tagged 2nd and turned 2. OR, I could have just ran at the base runner- tagged him- and then thrown to first for the 2nd out. Instead, I bobbled and bobbled the ball. The runner passed me so I had no chance at the out at 2- still plenty of time for the out at first. I finally got the ball and threw a laserbeam to first. Except it was 6 feet over his head. Fielding error and throwing error. Ouch. Brewers, I know how it feels.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 - I Had a Dream
I had a dream last night that I was watching ESPN and checking out the scoreboard- and there we were winning the game 16-13. What a struggle. What a game. What a comeback. That did not happen though. This morning again I was rudely reminded that our season is over. We have nothing more to win. Nothing more to achieve. I wish I could live in that dream.
Also, what's up with this picture of Andrew Bogut? He looks like a complete monster. I'm terrified of him. Looks like he's wearing some grotesque mask.
Monday, September 21, 2009 - Just as good
Wowzas. We are really good again. Just like the Bulls in 96. Man, that team was so good. They would have destroyed the Lakers of last year- and the Celtics of the year before. Nobody could mess with the triumphant 4: MJ, Pippen, Rodman, and the unbeatable Luc Longley.
Sunday, September 20, 2009 - Don't despair. I'm okay
I'm all right everyone. Don't worry. The site was down but it's all good in the hood. Why didn't the Brewers play like this for the last two months?
Saturday, September 19, 2009 - The General
That's right boys and girls- the General is back in town and he might break the club record for most rib-eye steaks. Can he do it? Stay tuned.
Friday, September 18, 2009 - A Couple of Things
First off, we beat the Cubs and stole a series split. That was rad (I sorta feel like I'm writing like Peter King. Man do I hate that guy. A couple of things I think I think I think as I slowly eat myself to death.) Great grand salami. I haven't written that in a while and it's always fun. Just so you all know, I've only referred to grand salamis and dongs in this endeavor- NOTHING else.
I walked to work this morning and saw some punk wearing a Phillies hat- one of those super stylized ones- all black with the huge Phillies logo. And I was thinking, "Man- we were playing them in the playoffs last year. And we were close in a couple of games and that coulda been us."
Third- I happened to watch some wrestling the other day. The Undertaker is STILL around. And he looks TERRIBLE. Kind of unbelievable how bad he looks. How can he wrestle? Also the new heavyweight champion was this funny character- wearing just the undies bottoms- and his shtick is that he's straight-edge. I loved wrestling so much growing up. And that is why.
Thursday, September 17, 2009 - Bobble This
Get ready folks. Doug Melvin Bobblehead day is fast approaching. THIS Sunday. Start camping out now. Pretty awesome for a GM to get a bobblehead. Who else has one? Jerry Reinsdorf? Al Davis? Mitch Kubiak? Jerry Jones? I don't think so. Just Mr. Doug Melvin.
Big interview with Attanasio last night where he expressed disappointment, but told people not to panic too much. He doesn't want to give up by trading the Prince or firing everyone. What do you guys think? Can we do it with our current roster? Do we need to make drastic moves? Are Doug and Ken the right guys?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 - Moats and boats and waterfalls
My brother is on a road trip right now. Driving across the good old US of A from Seattle back to Mil-willy. He's not making the best progress though. And either am I. I am slightly overwhelmed with how bad the Brewers are. It's okay. I've given up.
Hopefully he can find a dinosaur in Montana's badlands.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 - What a Play!
I still can't get over that play. I know we lost to the Cubs, but that was one of the best plays I've ever seen. Watch it now! Click here to watch the best play of all-time. JJ Hardy may never play for the Brewers again.
He throws it not even side-armed, but just whips the throw across his chest and body- as if he were trying to high-five the back of his left shoulder. Or wake up his dead arm that fell asleep. Incredible and wowzas combined. Inwowzible.
Monday, September 14, 2009 - Brewers, Brewers.
I tricked you. This is actually ramblings about the Packers. That game was pretty good. Our defense looked sharp- until it started getting burned in the 3rd quarter. I'm glad that collins had a cramp on the hester touchdown because both cris collinsworth and i could not understand how he didn't cover that ball. If someone gets injured on a play- then that's slightly forgivable- rather than making a mistake in coverage or not making the play.
The Jolly interception was so insane- what a big man. When they kept showing the highlights in slow motion- it was awesome how he jumped for the screen so quickly. Other awesome things- chillar's jump and then sack. Also awesome- how collinsworth notices things right away. Like the bad chicago bears tight end who was wide open and didn't run into the corner of the end zone for an easy td.
What I don't get. What's the difference between this successful blitzing defense and the one that we unveiled 4 years ago- and then lost the next 4? We better not lose the next 4 is all I'm saying.
Sunday, September 13, 2009 - Season Over
The Brewers had their chance and they were unable to keep my attention. It is now Packers season. Sure, the Brewers did a great job the last 2 days- just enough to let me think they're good again and are maybe worth watching. Psyche! They're not. And their games are all against other also-rans. EXCEPT for the finale against Colorado. Maybe we can eliminate them from the playoffs. That's our Super Bowl.
Saturday, September 12, 2009 - Happy 100th Braun
A big Happy Birthday to Ryan Braun from Scott Willard and Knott's Berry Farms. Whatever way you think about it- that is a lot of dongs. How old is Braun? 24? Okay- 26. He was born November 17th in 1993. He only has 41 stolen bases though. Decent, but he can do better. My record? 8 in a game. That's right. 8 stolen bases in one single game. The catcher was comatose. We ended up losing the game because of the pitcher. That's another story.
Big ups to Braun though.
Friday, September 11, 2009 - Sweet Relief
You can't lose when you don't play. That's always nice. Wow. I haven't looked at the standings in a long time and I'm actually afraid to do so? Should I? I'm not sure if it's worth opening a new tab just to be depressed. Okay, I'll do it. Just because I want to know. One moment...
Oof. That's really bad. We're one of the worse teams in the league. I should not have checked.
Thursday, September 10, 2009 - Afterthought
It's a little sad how the Brewers have been relegated to fine print stories in the Journal Sentinel now. Online, we're the sixth story down, just below "Cutler expected to snap streak of mediocrity at QB" and thankfully in front of " Managing predators complex. In the world of the outdoors, 2009 might go down as the year of the big predator. In Wisconsin and across the nation, burgeoning populations of bears, wolves and mountain lions are seizing headlines - and stressing wildlife officials. It's the residue of success."
Well, with another lifeless loss. We earned it. I like how the biggest news the Brewers can muster these days is the aftermath of the Prince dong and atom bomb on home plate. Well worth it.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 - Et tu Trevor?
This is Trevor's first save opportunity all season- so he should be fresh as a daisy. Instead, he's rusty as an old barn nail and just gets toasted for a two-run smack across the face. Supremely frustrating. That one must have hurt. Or maybe none of them hurt anymore. They're physically and mentally numb to the pain.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 - Laziness
Well, there goes another one. We sure showed St. Louis what's up in that one. Granted- Carpenter was nasty. Maybe in 5 years we can sign him as our stud pitcher and then owe him tons of money over 4 years as he's garbage (SOUPPPPPannnnn).
I'm not sure who threw in the towel first this season- the Brewers or me? I think we're both reporting to work everyday and our physically THERE, but we're not really there if you know what I'm saying. I'd like to say they let me down first- but sometimes I'm not even sure anymore.
Monday, September 7, 2009 - Radical
That choreographed atom bomb dong celebration was awesome. I guess the Brewers have so much down time they have ample time to plan these elaborate productions. No no. All kidding aside. That was an awesome game and must have been a lot of fun for the guys. Triple Play also? You gotta be kidding me. What's amazing about the thrice dice is that they had so much time. They could've kept throwing those balls all the way around the diamond- to Kendall- back to Casey- to Felipe again... Never ending.
Great work. ow it's time to win the rest of the games.
Sunday, September 6, 2009 - Deja vu
Wait a minute. Are we in a vortex of time travel where we always lose to the Giants 3-2. I know we are in a vortex of losing, but to the Giants as well? Come ON! I once had this boss who went to the movies a lot and he loved everymovie he saw. It didn't matter at all- no discerning taste whatsoever. He said he really liked Australia and understood how Hugh Jackman made the ladies go wild after the shower bucket scene. Anyway he said Deja Vu with Denzel was good but I never knew whether to believe him.